She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
