I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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