I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
