How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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