I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
