Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
