This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
