Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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