All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
how drunk are you?
Several
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
