My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
