didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Your cock deserves a montage
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
