Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
