You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
