I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
well you can't waste a boner
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
