its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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