She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
