Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
