so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
