He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize