this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
