Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
