I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
