My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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