The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
