I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
