I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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