Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
