I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
