so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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