I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she told me i tasted like america
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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