Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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