just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I miss vodka workout Fridays
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
