Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
