You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
