can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
