Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
