Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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