You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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