Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
