i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
