u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
