One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
