I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
