we made out on top of his cat.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
