I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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