it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
