Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
