Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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