Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
