Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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