talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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