Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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